I spent my 20s doing carefree things. I had no money problems (because my parents covered it). I followed my passion for rock music and switched jobs because I got bored quickly and couldn’t remain consistent.
It was only in my late 20s I realized things weren’t right. Although I am grateful for everything I did in the past without any regrets, it was time to get serious about life. But I thought it was too late now.
After turning thirty, everything came to me like an unstoppable tsunami. I had to figure out my passion (the real one), take responsibility, make money, and settle down (in other words, get married because my parents thought it was the right time).
I became more serious about life. My close friends went away from me, chasing their dreams. Some went abroad, and others got married. I felt alone. I had to fight my own battles. The only people who were with me were my girlfriend and two of my friends.
I’m thirty-one now. In the past three years, I have learned crucial life lessons that have helped me overcome tough times.
Why would you want to know about some random 31-year-old’s life lessons? How wise could he be?
Yes, I am a nobody.
But, I assure you (whoever you are and whatever age group you belong to) that my lessons will help you overcome some of your battles and get through life.
1. Nobody really cares about you
In psychology, there is a phenomenon called the spotlight effect. It’s a phenomenon where people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. However, it is far from the truth. Nobody notices you because they are also concerned about being in the spotlight.
Similarly, there are only a few people who genuinely care about you. They are usually your family and close friends. Nobody has the time or energy to think of you or your problems.
Humans are selfish beings. We care more about ourselves than others.
You might want people to show empathy. But that won’t happen because you can never change someone’s behavior, no matter how hard you try. It is beyond your control.
If you read books about communication and human behavior, you will find that the best way to get people to like you is to be interested in them and put yourself in their shoes. Those who can think and understand the situation from another’s point of view will succeed in establishing better human connections.
2. Don’t give a shit about what others think
Casey Neistat, a popular YouTuber, asks his wife, Candice, how she feels about being 46 and how it differs from when she was 26. To that, she answers, “Besides my boobs, I don’t really care as much about what people think.”
That’s what growing up really is.
Being mature means realizing you don’t have to care about what others think. When you can do that, you become free. You can do what you like and not be bothered by anything else.
We are constantly bothered by other people’s opinions and judgments. Whether posting a picture on Instagram or wearing a particular type of clothing, we are concerned about how others view us.
In our teenage years and early 20s, we constantly think about this. As we grow older, we stop giving a f*ck about it.
That is being mature.
I have stopped living life that way. I do what I want and how I want. Other people’s opinions don’t bother me. Even if someone says something to me, I never take it personally because I know it’s not about me; it’s about them.
3. Mind your business
If there is one thing that I don’t like, it’s stepping foot on other people’s businesses. I hate it when others do the same.
I come from a place where people are too much interested in what others are doing. For instance, they want to know what their neighbors are doing, what clothes others wear, and how they make so much money.
Even my mom and aunts do it sometimes, and I have to stop them from talking such BS.
I don’t have time to think about others or set foot in their business. I have a lot of stuff to do. My time and energy are valuable, and I don’t want to waste it thinking about others. I focus on building my work, business, and relationships. My family and friends are an essential part of my life. Besides them, I don’t have time to waste on other people.
4. Always be calm
We tend to overreact whenever we are happy or sad. We get overexcited during good times and anxious when things fall apart.
I’ve observed many successful people, watched their interviews, and read their stories. They are usually calm in most situations.
One of my best quotes is, “This too shall pass.”
Whether times are good or bad, one thing is sure: it will pass. So, we need to remain calm and focus on the present moment.
Remember this when speaking with others: Your body language and the words you speak show who you are. You must be aware of what you say and how to behave in certain situations.
Calmness is essential for a better life. I’ve become calmer now, and it has impacted (positively) how people respond to me. One daily practice that has helped me become more relaxed is meditation. Ten minutes of sitting down quietly twice a day is all you need.
5. Money matters
Forget all the money-doesn’t-buy-happiness BS. Money might not get you everything, but it will give you power.
- Power of choice
- Power to own your time
- Power to be respected
- Power to live your wildest dreams
I’ve also noticed that having a lot of money allows others to take you more seriously.
Money gives you freedom. You can control your time, chase your passion, and live a fulfilled life with your loved ones.
Money isn’t everything. But it is a necessity.
Money might not buy you happiness. But not having money surely won’t.
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