Imagine you’ve achieved all your goals — your dream car, house, income, fitness, and the best relationship. How would your life be?
Can you handle it?
Let’s take a specific goal — your dream car. If you received the car right now, would you be able to take care of it?
Sure, you might think it’s easy. But think carefully. Sometimes, we think we want something, but we aren’t ready for it.
Let’s take another example. What if your income increased 10x right now? How would your life be? Maybe you would buy stuff you wanted and spend most of the money. Then, you would be back to square one.
Having what you want doesn’t always mean you deserve it.
The stuff you have won’t be worth it if you don’t know how to take care of it. Even if you possess it right now, it will soon be gone.
The money will be spent, the car will break down, the house will be worthless, your body will be unhealthy again, and the relationship will end.
Do you want that? Of course not.
So, to get what you want, you must become the person who deserves it.
And the only way to do that is by first growing your mentality about your life. Your mindset is crucial to determining whether you deserve everything.
If you can’t act like you deserve the thing, you won’t get it. And even if you do manage to achieve it somehow, it will soon be gone.
Visualizing and thinking about your goals isn’t enough. You must become the person who has all the things and, most importantly, knows how to handle them.
The life you want requires a version of you that doesn’t exist yet.
You can’t get a healthy body if you keep avoiding workouts. You can’t achieve financial freedom if you refuse to learn how money works. You can’t attract a meaningful relationship if you continue communicating defensively.
Wanting something isn’t enough. You need to consistently take action to become that person, whether it’s learning new skills, taking consistent actions, behaving a certain way, or building an identity.
Desire creates emotional intensity. But desire alone does not create the skills, habits, emotional resilience, or consistency required to achieve the goal.
You keep getting the same things if you keep doing the same things and living the same way.
To get the life you want, you need to channel the version of you that doesn’t exist yet. You must focus on transforming certain traits, skills, and daily actions that align you with the person ready to get that life.
The real price of what you want is usually paid in behaviors you don’t enjoy.
Most of us focus on the outcome. We want the body, income, relationship, freedom, etc. It’s easy to think and state these goals. However, what’s challenging for us is the actions required to achieve these goals.
We ignore behaviors like:
- Repetition
- Delayed gratification
- Rejection
- Boredom
- Uncertainty
- Difficult conversations
- Learning
- Saying no
The problem isn’t the lack of desire. It often lies in the process required to obtain the result.
I’m not saying that every desire or goal requires you to suffer. Some of them might only need a subtle transformation that is easy to achieve. Yet, most of our significant desires have some form of significant action or behavioral change tied to them.
Remember, if you are ready to do the boring, difficult, and invisible things repeatedly, your desires won’t be far away from you.
Stop asking, “What do I want?” Ask, “What would this require of me?”
Here’s a four-step exercise to help you become the person who is ready to achieve their goals.
Step 1: Define the desired outcome.
We often begin with this — stating the goals. However, most of us aren’t specific about it. So, for example, instead of adding vague goals like, “I want to be successful,” say, “I want to earn X amount of money from my work within Y months/years.”
Step 2: Identify the person who can create that outcome.
- What does this person know?
- What do they do regularly?
- What do they no longer tolerate?
- How do they respond to failure?
- What decisions do they make differently?
Step 3: Find the gap.
Compare the desired identity with your current behavior. Do they align? If not, ask;
- What are you currently avoiding?
- What skills are you missing?
- What habit contradicts the outcome you want?
- What emotional discomfort repeatedly controls your decisions?
Step 4: Create evidence.
Pick one behavior that proves the new identity. Make it specific and measurable. Do it consistently enough that it becomes evidence.
Become capable of sustaining your dreams.
As I said in the beginning, if you aren’t able to take care of things, you won’t be able to achieve your desires.
Everyone is worthy to achieve greater things in life. God has made us all creative beings. We can imagine certain things and bring them to reality — a power we all possess.
However, if we aren’t prepared to use or sustain the things we want, we’ll lose them.
Getting what you want can change your circumstances. Becoming capable of handling it determines whether it changes your life.
You don’t need to become perfect before receiving what you want. But you should be willing to become the kind of person who can make something meaningful out of it once it arrives.
The life you want is out there. It’s just waiting for you to become consistent enough, courageous enough, skilled enough, and honest enough to be able to attract it towards you, and keep it.
The goal is not to prove that you deserve a better life. The goal is to become someone who can create, recognize, and sustain one.
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