Imagine you’ve achieved all your goals — your dream car, house, income, fitness, and the best relationship. How would your life be?

Can you handle it?

Let’s take a specific goal — your dream car. If you received the car right now, would you be able to take care of it?

Sure, you might think it’s easy. But think carefully. Sometimes, we think we want something, but we aren’t ready for it.

Let’s take another example. What if your income increased 10x right now? How would your life be? Maybe you would buy stuff you wanted and spend most of the money. Then, you would be back to square one.

Having what you want doesn’t always mean you deserve it.

The stuff you have won’t be worth it if you don’t know how to take care of it. Even if you possess it right now, it will soon be gone.

The money will be spent, the car will break down, the house will be worthless, your body will be unhealthy again, and the relationship will end.

Do you want that? Of course not.

So, to get what you want, you must become the person who deserves it.

And the only way to do that is by first growing your mentality about your life. Your mindset is crucial to determining whether you deserve everything.

If you can’t act like you deserve the thing, you won’t get it. And even if you do manage to achieve it somehow, it will soon be gone.

Visualizing and thinking about your goals isn’t enough. You must become the person who has all the things and, most importantly, knows how to handle them.

The life you want requires a version of you that doesn’t exist yet.

You can’t get a healthy body if you keep avoiding workouts. You can’t achieve financial freedom if you refuse to learn how money works. You can’t attract a meaningful relationship if you continue communicating defensively.

Wanting something isn’t enough. You need to consistently take action to become that person, whether it’s learning new skills, taking consistent actions, behaving a certain way, or building an identity.

Desire creates emotional intensity. But desire alone does not create the skills, habits, emotional resilience, or consistency required to achieve the goal.

You keep getting the same things if you keep doing the same things and living the same way.

To get the life you want, you need to channel the version of you that doesn’t exist yet. You must focus on transforming certain traits, skills, and daily actions that align you with the person ready to get that life.

The real price of what you want is usually paid in behaviors you don’t enjoy.

Most of us focus on the outcome. We want the body, income, relationship, freedom, etc. It’s easy to think and state these goals. However, what’s challenging for us is the actions required to achieve these goals.

We ignore behaviors like:

• Repetition
• Delayed gratification
• Rejection
• Boredom
• Uncertainty
• Difficult conversations
• Learning
• Saying no

The problem isn’t the lack of desire. It often lies in the process required to obtain the result.

I’m not saying that every desire or goal requires you to suffer. Some of them might only need a subtle transformation that is easy to achieve. Yet, most of our significant desires have some form of significant action or behavioral change tied to them.

Remember, if you are ready to do the boring, difficult, and invisible things repeatedly, your desires won’t be far away from you.

Stop asking, “What do I want?” Ask, “What would this require of me?”

Here’s a four-step exercise to help you become the person who is ready to achieve their goals.

Step 1: Define the desired outcome.

We often begin with this — stating the goals. However, most of us aren’t specific about it. So, for example, instead of adding vague goals like, “I want to be successful,” say, “I want to earn X amount of money from my work within Y months/years.”

Step 2: Identify the person who can create that outcome.

• What does this person know?
• What do they do regularly?
• What do they no longer tolerate?
• How do they respond to failure?
• What decisions do they make differently?

Step 3: Find the gap.

Compare the desired identity with your current behavior. Do they align? If not, ask;

• What are you currently avoiding?
• What skills are you missing?
• What habit contradicts the outcome you want?
• What emotional discomfort repeatedly controls your decisions?

Step 4: Create evidence.

Pick one behavior that proves the new identity. Make it specific and measurable. Do it consistently enough that it becomes evidence.

Become capable of sustaining your dreams.

As I said in the beginning, if you aren’t able to take care of things, you won’t be able to achieve your desires.

Everyone is worthy to achieve greater things in life. God has made us all creative beings. We can imagine certain things and bring them to reality — a power we all possess.

However, if we aren’t prepared to use or sustain the things we want, we’ll lose them.

Getting what you want can change your circumstances. Becoming capable of handling it determines whether it changes your life.

You don’t need to become perfect before receiving what you want. But you should be willing to become the kind of person who can make something meaningful out of it once it arrives.

The life you want is out there. It’s just waiting for you to become consistent enough, courageous enough, skilled enough, and honest enough to be able to attract it towards you, and keep it.

The goal is not to prove that you deserve a better life. The goal is to become someone who can create, recognize, and sustain one.

—

I remember the days when I used to write every day. I called it freewriting—writing continuously for a set period without worrying about structure, grammar, spelling, or ideas.

The results of daily freewriting were astonishing. It helped me generate tons of valuable content, kept my flow going, made me more creative, and reduced my stress about coming up with ideas and about whether I was writing well.

I did that for over a month. My freewriting days felt lighter than the times when I wrote “three times a week.”

How does writing every day feel easier than writing three times a week? Should it be the other way around? I should feel less stressed because I only had to put in effort three days every week rather than seven.

Shouldn’t more days of doing the thing mean more effort, not less?

That’s what most of us feel. But in this article, I’ll explain that the hard part is never the action. Instead, it is deciding whether today was a “yes” day or a “no” day.

For example, going to the gym three times a week means deciding whether to go today. But if you go to the gym every day, there is no need to make a decision. You just wake up and go to the gym — because that’s what you do every single day.

The Real Cost Is the Decision, Not the Action

Every time a behavior is optional, you don’t just do it or not do it. First, you have to hold a brief internal negotiation. That negotiation is invisible, but it’s not free.

Your willpower isn’t about the difficulty of the task itself, as most of us tend to believe. Instead, it’s about the number of times you have to decide whether to do the task.

Whether it’s a habit you are trying to build or one you are trying to quit, the process of deciding to take action kills the motivation to do it.

A rule you follow without exception requires a single decision made in advance. A rule you follow “usually” requires a new decision every single time you encounter it, which could be daily, or multiple times a day.

When you have the freedom to skip, it makes the habit harder to sustain, not easier. Flexibility sounds humane, but it actually has the opposite impact you are aiming for.

Let’s take a simple habit of flossing. When you do it sometimes, you tend to skip more days. But if you do it every day after brushing your teeth, you don’t have to decide “when” to do it. You simply do it every day. Isn’t that easier?

Why “Sometimes” Quietly Costs More Than “Never”

When you hear “every day,” it sounds extreme. It makes you feel you need to put more effort into a task. Instead, “most days” or “a few times a week” feels a wiser and more sustainable choice. They sound doable.

But the truth is that “sometimes” is actually more fragile because it comes at the cost of decision-making. And that decision, most of the time, makes the task harder to do.

Once you skip a day or two, breaking the rule starts to feel “free.” You start believing that you can do it another day. “What’s the big deal? I’ll do it tomorrow.”

For someone who’s on a diet, having one cookie today might not seem costly. But slowly, they start thinking, “Well, I already broke it today; I might as well eat some more.” But someone who just doesn’t consume sugar strictly doesn’t need to make a decision or have an internal debate.

When I was new to online writing, I only wrote when inspired. That didn’t help me produce consistent output. I had to wait for inspiration and decide whether that was worth writing. However, once I changed my habit to “writing 500 words daily,” I no longer had to wait. I did it even when, sometimes, my writing wasn’t good.

The Essential Identity Shift

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear uses smoking to demonstrate “identity-based habits.” When offered a cigarette, if you say, “No thanks, I’m trying to quit,” you still identify as a smoker. Instead, if you say, “No thanks, I’m not a smoker,” this permanently shifts your core identity to align with your new behavior.

Identity isn’t just a nice motivational story; it’s a shortcut that reduces the number of decisions to zero. A person who runs won’t have to decide whether they will run today. It’s not a decision anymore; it’s just what’s true.

It took me a long time to identify myself as a writer. I used to call writing my side hustle. It felt awkward to adopt the label before the belief caught up. I never knew that I could call myself a writer, even if I’d only written a couple of blog posts. Once I shifted my identity and made it clear in my social media bio, I started writing more and showing up consistently — something that hadn’t happened before.

How to Build This Without Setting Yourself Up to Fail

It’s so easy once you get the hang of it. The rule is simple: keep it small.

For example,

• If you want to start working out, do 10 pushups every day.
• If you want to become a writer, write 200 words every day.
• If you want to lose weight, walk for 30 minutes every day.

Every action counts, no matter how small. One push-up counts. One sentence counts. One minute counts. What’s important is that you do it every single day.

The brain doesn’t distinguish much between a small daily win and a large one when it comes to reinforcing identity. What matters to your sense of self is the unbroken streak, not its size.

Read that again.

It’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s just about doing it.

Here’s the fun part: There are no specified rules for your thing. You can set your own rules. For example, if you want to become a runner, your goal could be to run at least 2 miles every day, regardless of the circumstances. You have to complete the two miles. When I was freewriting, my goal was to write at least 500 words daily. Some days I wrote exactly 500; some days I wrote 800. And some days, even 2,000.

Pick one thing you’d like to do. Not five, just one. Test this for two weeks before touching anything else. Start by doing it for 2 minutes every day. Then, grow slowly as you feel comfortable. I guarantee it will feel much easier once you start doing it every day.

Final Thought

Doing something every day is easier, not because the doing gets easier, but because the deciding disappears.

Being realistic, you might still miss some days, and that’s completely fine. After all, we are humans. We could get sick, might have to travel, or there could be an emergency. Life will interrupt. But even if you miss a day. Never miss it more than once. Add it to your strict-rule list.

As I said, the goal isn’t perfection. It is to reduce the amount of energy the whole thing costs you.

So, what’s one decision you’re quietly remaking every single day that you could simply stop making?

My uncle has a construction company, where he hires many workers. His employees work hard. They have to do physically challenging construction work. It consumes a lot of physical and mental energy. Unfortunately, those workers have very difficult lives because they aren’t paid for their hard work. And that isn’t my uncle’s fault; it is how the market treats construction workers.

I had a similar experience when my wife and I visited my sister-in-law, who is a nurse. She told us that she works hard night and day, yet she was paid below average.

On the other hand, my father rented out one of his houses uptown and earned thousands of dollars each month, without having to “work hard.” He sat in his home, reading his newspaper and sipping black tea. This made me realize that hard work isn’t always the best way to make money or succeed in life.

Then, the question that stuck with me was, “What is hard work actually paying me for?”

The Story We Were Handed (and Why We Believed It)

When you think about getting rich or being successful in general, you generally tie it to hard work. The human mind has been programmed to believe that working hard will bring success.

Since we were kids, we learned that hard work will help us get good grades in school. Then, as we grew older, the same philosophy applied to our work — hard work equals promotion.

The belief that hard work means success is comforting because it implies control. If wealth were purely about effort, anyone could get there by trying harder.

However, that’s obviously not the truth. Building wealth is about structure, timing, access, etc. But that is less comforting for us to hear. So we choose to believe what we have always believed.

Hard work does correlate with some success, but that’s often because it’s a prerequisite, not because it’s the cause. Everyone has to work hard to succeed.

Even my dad, who makes money easily by renting out his house, worked hard to build the house, deal with contractors, and make sure the tenants live in a comfortable environment. He worked hard before so that he doesn’t have to now.

Hard work is necessary, but that’s not sufficient.

I’m writing this, but I still want to believe that effort is the best lever because, as I said, it’s the one thing fully within my control. When I started writing online, I worked really hard trying to put out the best articles. My belief: “If I just push harder, the money will flow.”

But the reality was different; working hard didn’t make me money, but it did help me become better and learn other skills to understand writing and money.

Wages Are a Price, Not a Reward

Why is a janitor paid less than junior staff at a company, even though the janitor works harder? His work is exhausting and requires more time than that of someone who sits in a chair and works much less.

The truth is that just because your work requires a lot of hard work doesn’t mean you have to be paid more. The market prices scarcity and leverage, not difficulty.

The janitors’ work isn’t scarce. Anyone with the physical ability to do cleaning work can do that. His skills are easily accessible in the market. Therefore, he is paid less than a junior staff member with a proper skill set who would benefit the company. And so, they are paid more than the janitor.

Some effort-based work compounds, meaning that hard work will pay off more in the future. But only when the person eventually converts skill into leverage — a firm, a following, a rate only they can charge. In our example, the janitor cannot expand his skills to earn more because his work is usually the same. However, a junior staff member can develop their skills and get promoted to earn more. They can even start their own business to build something bigger.

Effort matters, but only as a stepping stone.

Money Follows Risk and Ownership, Not Hours

In the popular book Rich Dad Poor Dad, the author says that the rich own assets and the poor own liabilities they think are assets. The rich aren’t paid for how many hours they put into something. Instead, they are paid for exposure to outcomes — owning something whose value can rise (or fall).

Owning an asset is the best way to make money. That’s because assets don’t need sleep. They keep generating value while you’re doing something else entirely. This is the actual definition of leverage, and it has nothing to do with working harder.

Making money is also about risk. The people who look like they’re “working less” for more money often took a risk earlier that the hard worker never did — quitting a stable job, investing savings, building something with no guarantee of payoff.

The reward isn’t for effort; it’s for absorbing uncertainty.

Yes, it’s unfair, but it is what it is.

Elon Musk risked every penny he made from the PayPal days and invested in SpaceX and Tesla. Now, he’s the world’s richest man. I’m not saying he didn’t work hard. In fact, he is also one of the hardest-working men in the world. But the point is that he took a risk that looked reckless at the time, but it worked out, not because he worked harder than everyone else, but because he owned the outcome instead of renting his time.

Consider two people who are paid the same income. One of them earns a salary, while the other earns rental income. Even though they earn the same amount, the difference is that the first person’s income requires them to work additional hours, while the other’s doesn’t.

Wealth is the price of bearing risk and owning outcomes, not the price of effort.

How Hard Work Can Actively Block Wealth

When you work hard at something, you are giving your time and mental energy to it. If you are doing it in the wrong area, your hard work is actually blocking you from success.

For instance, working hard at a job consumes the exact time and energy that could be spent building things that actually create wealth, such as a side project, an investment habit, or a skill with leverage.

Every hour of hard work you put in the job you dislike is an hour not spent building an asset. The effort at a job can be, in effect, a subsidy paid to someone else’s wealth rather than your own.

I’m not asking you to quit your job or work less. It’s an argument to address where your hardest hours are going and whether they’re building something that’s yours.

It feels tempting to work hard at something because of the false belief that it will actually make you wealthy. It feels productive and safe, even when it isn’t moving you towards ownership.

Again, I’m not asking you to stop working hard. What I’m saying is that you must be aware of what you are working hard for and who owns the result.

Do This to Shift the Equation

The goal isn’t to “work less” but to redirect a portion of effort toward something you own, even in small, unglamorous ways. In other words, work hard for the things that matter, that actually will make you successful.

To give you a few examples:

• Negotiate equity/ownership instead of only salary when possible.
• Start something small on the side that doesn’t require quitting your job immediately.
• Treat consistent investing as buying small pieces of other people’s risk-taking when you can’t take the risk yourself. Start small, but build a habit of investing.

I get it. You might not have the time, money, or security to spend on these. This shift is in direction, not identical for everyone. But if your goal is to make money or become successful at something, you must be intentional about where you put your effort and what results it brings.

I began writing online while working a corporate 9–5 job. It began as a side hustle to make some extra cash. But as I built my skills, I learned how to leverage them to earn more without working more. For example, I published e-books and sold the copies for hundreds of dollars each month.

It’s time you understood that working hard isn’t the problem. The problem is when you don’t work hard at building something of your own.

Conclusion

My uncle’s construction workers will never be rich, even if they keep working harder at their jobs. The only way to wealth is for them to use their experience in the construction business and start their own company. It’s the sad truth that hard work isn’t related to wealth or success. Effort without ownership is effort wasted.

Hard work will always matter, for dignity, mastery, and stability, not just for a specific job of building wealth.

The solution isn’t working less; it’s to make sure some of your hardest hours are building something that’s yours.

When was the last time you worked really hard at something? Were you happy with the outcome? What did you benefit from your hard work? Did you own the outcome of the hours you put in?

My uncle retired at sixty-two and was dead inside by sixty-four. Not literally — he’s still alive, still sends forwarded emails — but something left him. He’d spent thirty years as a civil engineer, fixing drainage systems in small municipalities nobody cared about.

He complained about it constantly. The bureaucracy, the ingratitude, the low pay. And then he stopped, because he’d earned it, and he had absolutely no idea what to do with himself.

I keep thinking about him whenever someone asks me what I want out of life. The usual answers feel hollow — I want to be happy, I want financial freedom, I want to travel more. These aren’t wrong exactly, but they feel like things you say rather than things you actually believe.

The idea I keep coming back to — and I’m not fully sure I’ve earned the right to say this yet — is that the point of being here is to be useful. Not in a noble, self-sacrificing way. Not in the way people say it on LinkedIn with a graphic of a lighthouse.

Happiness as a byproduct

The happiness thing bugs me the most, honestly. We talk about happiness like it’s a destination — something you arrive at and then maintain, like a good posture. But I’ve never met anyone who was consistently happy because they were trying to be happy.

The happiest people I know are sort of… incidentally happy. They’re absorbed in something — a project, a person, an argument they care about. Happiness is a byproduct, not the goal.

What my uncle actually lost

He wasn’t unhappy at work because the work was bad. Towns stopped flooding because of him — the problems were real, and he was good at solving them. He was unhappy because he never connected the work to that fact.

He experienced the bureaucracy but not the outcome. And then in retirement, he lost even the bureaucracy. He lost the friction that proved he existed in someone else’s life.

What pulls me out of a bad stretch

When nothing feels meaningful, and I’m just sort of moving through days, what usually pulls me out isn’t a realization about my own happiness. It’s being needed for something specific — a friend stuck on a problem, a situation only I’m positioned to attempt.

The mood lifts not because I feel good, but because there’s suddenly a shape to the day. A reason the day has to go one way rather than another.

I realize this might sound like workaholism rebranded. I’ve had that thought too. But busyness and usefulness aren’t the same thing — you can be extremely busy and useless, and very slow and essential.

The problem with chasing money

Obviously, money matters — it buys stability, and stability is the precondition for almost everything else. I’m not romanticizing poverty. But I’ve also watched people organize their entire lives around accumulation, and the finish line keeps moving.

There’s always a higher number that would finally feel like enough. The goalposts aren’t moved by external forces; they’re moved by the accumulator, unconsciously, because the accumulation itself became the point.

What usefulness actually feels like

Usefulness has a different quality. It’s specific, particular — this thing, for this person or situation, done as well as I can do it. It doesn’t scale endlessly into abstraction.

It arrives, and then it’s done, and then there’s another one. That rhythm is stabilizing in a way that happiness-seeking never is — because happiness-seeking has no natural end state, no moment where you set down the tool and say: yes, that’s what was needed.

The human brain seeks comfort. It feels good — addictive, in a way. But it’s dangerous. The more comfortable you are, the more you want it.

I used to think being comfortable meant I had freedom, and that I was happy. It took me some hard knocks to realize that comfort isn’t good and, in fact, leads to stagnation.

Lesson learned: Your potential rarely grows in environments that demand nothing from you. For instance, I felt uncomfortable showing my face and publishing articles online. I didn’t want to come off as a know-it-all by posting about my life lessons. But the truth is that those who can share their stories and lessons and be honest achieve greatness.

Having a personal brand meant success, and I was running away from it.

Thankfully, not anymore. I published vulnerable stories, even when it felt uncomfortable. I showed up and spoke about my struggles and failures, even though I didn’t want to. Fortunately, those moments of difficulty helped me grow as a writer and storyteller.

Remember, growth almost always requires friction.

Comfort = No Growth

When things feel easy, you stop pushing your limits. You adapt to the environment that feels natural to you. As I said, the brain prefers predictable routines over challenging tasks. So, you begin to choose convenience over improvement.

Here are a few examples:

• Staying at a job you’ve outgrown
• Consuming content instead of creating
• Avoiding difficult conversations
• Not taking risks

Comfort keeps you safe, but it also keeps you small. Growth requires exposure to difficulty. For example, to grow your muscles, you need to lift heavy weights. Even though it feels uncomfortable, and your brain keeps telling you to stop, the only way is to expose yourself to the pain of lifting heavy weights. That’s the only way to build muscles and get fit.

In the same way, new skills come from struggle. There is no other way. You won’t grow from doing nothing or sitting on the couch watching Netflix. You need to expose yourself to new scenarios.

Confidence is built by doing uncomfortable things repeatedly. The more you can expose yourself to difficulties, the more self-confidence you grow.

Every meaningful achievement usually starts with uncertainty. Whether it’s publishing your first article, starting a business, or sharing ideas publicly, it feels uncomfortable at first.

Discomfort is often the price of becoming who you could be.

Sometimes, you don’t realize you are too comfortable. It happens unconsciously because you have become too familiar with it. Here are a few common signs you are living in your comfort zone:

• You avoid challenges that might make you look foolish.
• Your days feel repetitive and predictable.
• You spend more time consuming rather than creating.
• You keep saying, “I’ll start later.”

If you want to change, you must ask yourself this:

Am I choosing what is easy, or what will help me grow?

Once you learn to embrace discomfort, your life begins to change. It’s not just in business, social scenarios, or health. It works in all aspects of life. In fact, many religious texts and stories prove that growth lies on the other side of comfort. It’s just how life works.

Do this to escape the comfort trap.

If you have realized you are living in comfort, it’s time you escape the trap. You don’t have to panic or do things quickly. Small, daily actions can help you escape this trap and become your better version.

1. Do one uncomfortable activity every day. Publish something, reach out to someone, or learn a new skill. As I said, it doesn’t have to be anything massive. Perform a small act that is unfamiliar to you.
2. Create small habit changes. For instance, wake up earlier, exercise a bit longer (or lift a much heavier weight), or brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand. It will tell your brain that you can handle discomfort now.
3. Reduce passive comfort. Limit mindless scrolling. Having a smartphone has made us too comfortable. Instead of using it or doing anything that entertains you, replace that time with creation. You can also read a book, something that builds your knowledge.
4. Measure progress, not comfort. Did today move me closer to my potential? Ask this question and analyze your daily activities. If you are still doing things that make you comfortable, it’s time you took things seriously. Try again tomorrow. Do it until you finally feel comfortable being uncomfortable.
5. Reframe discomfort. Your mindset makes you who you are. So, instead of thinking, “This is uncomfortable.” Think, “This is where growth begins.”

Discomfort is not a signal to stop. It’s a signal that you are growing. If life feels too easy for too long, you’re probably not challenging your potential.

Try being uncomfortable. Embrace it instead of avoiding it. Start small, and be consistent.

Let me know what uncomfortable thing you did today in the comments below.

I used to obsess over goals — income goals, fitness goals, writing goals, and relationship goals. The problem wasn’t my ambition; it was my identity. When I learned how to change my identity, I became unstoppable, and achieving my goals became way easier.

Every year, you set goals and feel motivated for a week or two. “This is the year I’m going to change my life finally.” Then, life happens, and you get back to your old self. You won’t achieve your goals that way because you are only thinking about the outcome, without changing the identity. Your old habits and mindset keep you the same.

The core shift you must make is from goal-setting to identity-formation. The truth is that goals focus on outcomes. But growth comes from identity.

You don’t rise to your goals. You fall to your identity.

Read that again!

The problem with traditional goal-setting

Most people set goals and work hard to achieve them. And once they are successful, the motivation drops. They relapse into old habits. Then, they chase the next target without internal change. That might seem like a success, but it won’t help you make a life-altering transformation.

Goals don’t change your behavior. For instance, wanting to “write a book” doesn’t make you a writer. Or wanting to “get fit” doesn’t make you disciplined. Desire doesn’t lead to action. Identity does.

Setting goals increases pressure instead of progress. It creates an outcome obsession, which leads to anxiety. You measure yourself by results, and when you don’t see them, you feel like a failure. There is no real progress for change.

If you’ve failed to achieve your goals before, it’s not because you lack ambition. It’s because you tried to change outcomes without changing yourself.

The identity shift

When you set a goal, you ask, “What do I want?” You make a list of things and start working towards them. However, the real question should be, “Who do I need to become?” That’s identity-based change, which is necessary for you to get results more quickly (and more effectively).

• Wrong: I want to make $10,000/month.
• Right: I want to become someone who creates consistent value.
• Wrong: I want to lose 10 kg.
• Right: I want to become someone who doesn’t negotiate with workouts.
• Wrong: I want to grow on social media.
• Right: I want to become someone who publishes consistently.

Try this:

Pick one goal that is the most important to you. Then, rewrite it as an identity statement.

Align your behavior with your identity. That way, you don’t rely on motivation. You act because this is who you are.

Four years ago, I made a major shift in my identity that has helped me achieve massive results. I wanted to write online, help creators, and build a writing business. But the problem was I kept telling myself, “I want to become a writer.” In my bio, I wrote that I was an “aspiring” writer.

I learned about identity-shifting and how it helps achieve your desires more quickly. Then, I stopped calling myself an aspiring writer. I changed my bio immediately to “writer.” I started calling myself a writer because that’s who I had to become to achieve my writing goals. Then, my actions aligned with it too. What does a writer do? What does their daily schedule look like? I did what a writer does to become one.

How to become what you want to achieve

Identity shift might seem confusing at first. However, with a few easy steps, you can learn this life-altering strategy to achieve your goals.

Step 1: Define the identity clearly

• What does this person do daily?
• How do they think?
• What do they tolerate?
• What do they refuse to tolerate?

Write three to five identity traits. For example, if you want to become a content creator, write:

• I publish weekly.
• I don’t delete drafts out of fear.
• I improve something every day.

Step 2: Build micro-proof daily

You don’t have to go big straight away. Tiny actions daily can help you make an identity shift and slowly tap into a new one.

Do the smallest action that reinforces your new identity. For example, write 200 words daily, do 10 pushups, or post once per week, no matter what.

Remember, small wins matter more than big intentions. As you move forward, focus on continuous improvements. Increase the reps, experiment with ideas, and slowly grow into your new identity.

Step 3: Stop announcing goals. Start showing habits.

Less talking; more doing. Let your actions speak.

Do this: Write down your goals first. Make a list of things you want to achieve. That’s okay. Furthermore, write down the same goals as if you were already someone who has achieved them. Then, practice becoming that person every day.

Step 4: Track identity, not just results

Instead of asking, “Did I hit my target?” Ask, “Did I act like the person I’m becoming today?” You can create a Yes/No daily checklist if that helps. Reflect on your behavior every week. That’ll help you keep track of your path.

Conclusion

You don’t achieve success and then become disciplined. You become disciplined, and success follows. You don’t achieve confidence and then act. You act, and confidence grows.

Your identity helps you do the things necessary to achieve your goals. If you look at the outcome first, you will never become the person who achieves what they want. You will only focus on getting that thing.

Start building the person who naturally produces the outcomes you desire.

I remember the night when I started questioning everything. I had doubts about what I was doing in life — from writing online to running my creative agency. On the days I didn’t produce the desired output, I felt like I was wasting my time and energy.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Is writing worth it?”

“Should I quit and try something completely new?”

These were some thoughts I had during that night. My writing wasn’t producing any results. So, I was blaming algorithms, people, and questioning my self-worth. My agency wasn’t meeting our targets, so I had to rethink our systems.

Oh! That night was painful.

The next morning, I wasn’t feeling much better, but I had an idea. “What if this isn’t destruction, but material?” “What if I can use this difficult moment to share my story and help people in similar situations?”

Ideas began flowing to me. I couldn’t believe that the moment that hurt me the most was actually giving me ideas to create something valuable. So, I used most of those ideas and made content — articles, LinkedIn posts, PDF guides, and short reels. In a few weeks, things started kicking off, and I was on the right path again — closer to my goals.

In this article, I’ll share how you can turn pain into art using simple strategies. Hopefully, you can use them to turn your life from a difficult situation to a creative one. Let’s start with this truth I learned the hard way.

Pain forces you to feel. And feeling fuels creation.

Creativity thrives on emotional depth. The more you can feel and express it, the better you can create. It doesn’t matter whether you are a writer, musician, videomaker, or painter; your work is a reflection of your inner feelings.

Happiness is easy to describe. You can talk about your happy moments without feeling hardship or pretending. However, pain requires courage. It demands reflection. The dark moments in life slow you down and force you to be aware, which can be an advantage when creating art. These moments make you ask deeper questions like:

• Who am I?
• What do I want?
• What actually matters?

Allow yourself to feel pain and be fully aware of it. Turn that emotional awareness into creative art. However, remember that surface emotions create surface work. Conversely, depth creates resonance.

When things fall apart, you stop pretending or performing. You become honest with yourself. When you can express things honestly, that’s magnetic for creative work. It helps you connect with other people because you are being true to them. You aren’t polishing your work to sound smart or effective. You are you.

Your struggles make your voice unique.

If you open YouTube or any creative platform, you find that 80 percent of the content is similar. People are giving the same motivational advice and showing the same “productive morning routine.” In fact, most so-called creators are copying what they see works for other people.

As a consumer, that’s not very helpful. You can rely only on a few content sources for your information. The rest is useless.

However, the best way to create something unique to you is to share your struggles — failures, heartbreak, insecurity, cultural background, life battles, etc. Your pain is specific, and that specificity is your advantage.

You must capitalize on your unique creative craft. You can share your story, explain how you overcame it, and focus on the things you learned. In short,

1. Experience the pain.
2. Reflect on it.
3. Extract the lessons.
4. Translate it into a story or insight.
5. Offer it to others.

Darkness becomes valuable when processed, not just endured. You need to use your pain to create something valuable. People who resonate with your story will build a strong connection with you.

Unprocessed pain is suffering. Processed pain becomes art.

How to turn pain into creative gold

Most of us avoid sharing our darkest moments. We don’t want people to know about our sufferings because that’ll show that we are vulnerable.

We fear being judged or people reopening our wounds. But the parts you hide are actually the most powerful ones. That’s because people resonate with what feels real.

Success isn’t as appealing for most people as failure. When someone is in pain, we are more intrigued by their story. We want to know more about what caused the pain, how the person is doing, and what strategies are helping them overcome the suffering.

Here are some practical ways you can turn pain into creativity (art).

1. Journal without editing. When you write in a journal what you actually feel, you express your true emotions. It helps you become aware of your own situation, including your thoughts and feelings.
2. Ask better questions. What did this teach me? What belief changed because of this? What would I tell someone going through the same situation? These questions are starters for acting from pain and creating something valuable.
3. Share lessons, not scars. When you are willing to share your pain with the world, avoid trauma-dumping. It’s not therapy. And honestly, people won’t care if you are only trying to gain sympathy. Instead, focus on insights and growth. What did you actually learn from it?
4. Create after reflection. Don’t create in chaos — when you are emotionally unstable, and the pain is still active. Instead, create after clarity — when you have become aware of your feelings and asked better questions.

Final thoughts

Right now, sharing your pain might feel uncomfortable. And it is. It’s not easy to talk to people about your hardships. It’s not easy when you are struggling. But it’s also necessary to capitalize this situation. As we discussed, dark moments are a source of creative gold.

Now, imagine looking back at this moment in the future. You will not just bring back the memories but also understand what you’ve been through. You will appreciate yourself more because you overcame the difficulties and became a different person — stronger and better.

Your self-confidence and self-respect grow when you realize your accomplishments. Also, you will have an audience that appreciates your work more because you were honest and true. You’ve always been that way.

The breakdown might be the beginning, the rejection might become your message, and the pain you’re surviving today might become the story that saves someone tomorrow.

Once again, your darkest moments aren’t the end of your story. They’re the raw materials for your better ones.

Picture this: you wake up, check your phone for a minute, which turns into another 45 minutes of scrolling, and when you finally wake up, you will have consumed so much that your brain just isn’t functioning as it should.

I’ve been there. Every morning, I look at my phone screen for 15–20 minutes, and it makes me feel different. My eyes become itchy, and my brain isn’t 100% normal. I don’t know the medical side of it, but I just know that something isn’t right. My mind is filled with clutter, I’m comparing my life to others’, and my creative energy is low.

I finally decided to shut down my phone in the morning and before bed. My day should start with a creative mindset rather than a consuming one.

This single shift transformed my focus, output, and confidence.

The side effects of consuming first

Starting my day consuming wasn’t very ideal for my physical and mental health. Let’s discuss some side effects of consuming first.

You start your day responding to comments, thinking about others’ ideas before your own, and your brain becomes passive.

Social media floods you with opinions, trends, and angles. You start to believe the things you see rather than your own conscious beliefs. You start becoming what you consume, and that can be scary.

This one is the worst. Comparing your life with others is such a brain-damaging activity. You begin to think thoughts like:

• “They’re ahead of me.”
• “My work isn’t that good.”
• “Why can’t I have what they have?”

Your brain gets endless input from what you consume. So, your focus becomes scattered. You can’t do one thing properly and are not fully present. Your willpower lowers for actual work.

Remember: The first thing you feed your brain shapes everything that follows.

What “Create First” does instead.

Once I shifted from consuming to creating, my life literally changed. My focus improved, and so did my creativity. I felt energized every morning, and everything seemed better.

When you start creating first, you start your day being in control of your actions. You act instead of react. You are in charge of where your attention flows, so you start the day producing.

You keep a promise to yourself not to consume first. The momentum starts early as you begin to do the work that actually matters — creating. This grows your confidence. You start to trust your actions more because you can see the results.

Your thoughts are pure and fresh. So, you can use them to the best of your ability. You begin to shift your identity from a consumer to a creator, which is crucial for growth.

How I started creating instead of consuming

Understand that your attention is your most valuable asset. What you consume, you become. It programs your brain. So, you must protect your attention and keep it ready for creation.

Your brain loves easy dopamine, which you can obtain from scrolling. On the other hand, creating can be uncomfortable and challenging. Your brain doesn’t like it. However, growth requires you to do the difficult tasks. Joe Rogan said, “Difficult things make regular life less difficult.” I agree with his statement. Growth requires challenge. Winning the first battle of the day changes your trajectory.

Here are some things I did to create instead of consume.

• No phone for the first hour.
• Reading books instead of scrolling.
• Writing before checking notifications.
• Two hours of deep work (focused creation) daily.
• No phone an hour before bed.

Within two weeks, I began seeing massive changes. For instance, my energy was high in the morning. I didn’t feel lazy. My creativity increased significantly, allowing me to write/create more content every day.

Furthermore, ideas flowed more easily because my brain was functioning well. My anxiety reduced, and last but not least, my work output grew 10x (or more).

I didn’t make massive changes to my routine. Some simple rules made it easier for me to stop consuming. You can steal them if you want.

1. Set a clear creation target: 100 words, 30 minutes, one idea, one draft.
2. Create a no-consumption window: No social media, emails, YouTube, etc., before you create something.
3. Prepare the night before: Decide what you’ll create beforehand. I wrote my to-do list in the evening, which made me ready for the next day. Also, I kept my workspace ready for creation.
4. Start small: The goal isn’t to create something big. It’s to become a consistent creator. Remember, consistency > intensity. Even 10 minutes of creation a day will help you shift your identity from consumer to creator.

The long-term impact

Imagine you follow this “creating before consuming” rule for a year. How different would your life be? I’ve been doing it for almost two months now, and I can already notice massive changes.

Here are some possibilities for the long run.

• Hundreds of pages written.
• Skills sharpen.
• Audience grown.
• Self-respect strengthens.
• Less comparison.
• More clarity.
• More output.
• More income.

The possibilities are endless. Your life will literally change if you make this tiny shift to your daily routine.

Stop feeding your mind before using it. Ask yourself this every morning:

“Before I let the world speak to me, what will I say first?”

On the other hand, the average, quiet person struggled. We only wished we had the talent these people had.

I concluded that only talented people could become successful in life. They would become doctors, engineers, scientists, astronauts, or some other profession that society valued.

We (the ordinary people) would live a normal life — a regular job, family, and living paycheck to paycheck.

I was sooo wrong!

It turns out that talent isn’t everything to succeed. It’s something else that makes a person achieve greater things in life. I learned that the average, quiet person can beat talent if they work hard and persist — never give up.

Here’s the conclusion I made: talent might give you a head start, but in the end, consistency and persistence win the marathon.

Talent makes you impressive. Consistency makes you unstoppable.